the ongoing learning

The hospital entrance faces the west.

Last night as I left the hospital, the western sky directly over the mountains was orange, fading upward into light blue, then darker blue, then night sky blue--you know that color before the stars appear?

I will remember that sunset as the end of the day when I learned firsthand the meaning of two new words:

bacteremia: the presence of bacteria in the blood. The blood is normally a sterile environment, so the detection of bacteria in the blood is always abnormal. Bacteria can enter the bloodstream as a complication of liver disease and can have several consequences. The immune response to the bacteria can cause sepsis (blood poisoning) and septic shock, which has a relatively high mortality rate.

ascites: an accumulation of fluid in the peritoneal cavity. Although most commonly due to cirrhosis and severe liver disease, its presence can portend other significant medical problems. Detected on physical examination of the abdomen by visible bulging of the flanks in the reclining patient ("flank bulging"), "shifting dullness" (difference in percussion note in the flanks that shifts when the patient is turned on the side) or in massive ascites with a "fluid thrill" or "fluid wave" (tapping or pushing on one side will generate a wave-like effect through the fluid that can be felt in the opposite side of the abdomen).

i have so much to tell you

Don't worry, I'm not going to spill it all in one post. I just can't decide where to start.

Okay, I've made the decision. I need to tell you about the ocean. Because we didn't take the camera, you're going to have to put on your imagining hats and work with me.

We decided to go to the ocean on Saturday, but we didn't decide which beach to go to. Since we were in the rental car--a PT Cruiser--we got on some freeway-type road and I figured out, as the navigator, where we were and where the closest beach was located. It was Ocean Beach. That's the name of the town as well as the name of the beach. Clever, eh?

The cool thing about Ocean Beach is that it isn't just a people beach, it's also a dog beach. Yes, a DOG BEACH! How great is that? We saw no, none, not a bit of dog poo, but if I were you, I would never touch seaweed again, if you ever thought about touching it before. Dogs pee on it.

So, back to the beach. Imagine a long stretch of sandy beach on a beautiful, not too hot, not too cold summer day, and imagine about a thousand dogs and their thousand owners. All sizes, shapes, colors, ages, and the dogs were different breeds too! (sorry, couldn't help myself)

There were so many dogs--dogs running, chasing, leaping, barking, wagging, resting, digging--any dog activity you can think of, except, well, there was no breeding or biting, and very little growling. IT WAS GREAT! I couldn't stop thinking about how much JoJo would have enjoyed that beach. Next time we need a vacation road trip, I'm taking the dog to Ocean Beach.

And then the other cool thing about Ocean Beach was the ocean. I'm kind of a baby about the ocean and the waves and the coldness and all of that sandy, salty water. But it was so hot that we headed to the people beach and I waded out and let the waves splash up over my feet, up to my knees, and before I knew it, I was getting splashed around the ears. (I think I still have ocean water in my right ear. I can hear it.) Anyway. Think about ocean waves, lifting you up, setting you down, lifting you up, setting you down. And think about the sound of kids laughing and playing. And think about water so dark blue--like this color--and think about that ocean cooling your overheated skin, soothing you, calming you. I have not felt so calm in years. It was perfect.

we're outta here again

when jack and i get back from san diego, i'll have to post photos of my beautiful pots of annuals that are out on the deck.

i know, surprise! i actually purchased some annuals!

oh, wait, you're probably surprised that we are once again on another working vacation, right? or that we've gone west instead of east for a change. and that we are in the beautiful southern california weather--mid-70's during the day, mid-60's at night--and there's an ocean within walking distance!! suweet! holy cow, i'm seriously all about the exclamation marks today!!!

which is my way of saying that even though i'm typing in no caps, it isn't because i'm too sick or too tired or any of my other usual lazy girl excuses. i'm, well, just too lazy to use my shift because, hello, we're in laid-back southern california. and it's beautiful here. and we just walked back to our hotel--marriott with the amazing marriott bed--after eating southern california tacos and burritos. and even if we don't make it to seaworld--which i love--or to the zoo--which i love--and we missed the michael jackson funeral and all--which we didn't get tickets for--we have an ocean within walking distance and ocean access with sandy beaches or tide pool beaches or cliffs. in case we feel like cliff diving. because we even brought our swimsuits.

that girl

Last Friday night, after Audrey's new baby sister, Ellie, was born, it was my responsibility to take the big sister to the dr. house to see mommy and daddy. As we drove to the hospital, I asked Audrey if she wanted some chicken nuggets and fries, knowing that if she said no, she would absolutely not eat a bite of the food even if it was fruit snacks or ice cream--both of which she turned down during the past week--but she said yes, she wanted some ticken nugs and fies. So I immediately made a u-turn into the McDonald's, which is when she hollered out in joy, "THE EAT HOUSE THE EAT HOUSE!!!"

We drove up and ordered the food and then we had to wait for two minutes while they cooked our nuggets up fresh (uh, huh?) and when they brought the sack of fries and chicken to the car I could smell that fresh french fry smell that brings back memories of riding home from Dee's in the car with my mom refusing to let us eat the fries until we got home, but finally caving in after, oh, all of 1/4 mile. And I said to Audrey, "Don't those fries smell good?" And she said, "Uhhu gamma, I need some in my mouth. Now."

pictures--no words required.

after many false starts

One day, they looked like this



and in that miracle called life, they changed to this



Introducing Eleanor Moleta Wilde, born July 3, 2009, 5 lbs 14 oz, 18 in, soft, fuzzy blond hair, dimples you could fall into, strong, healthy cry, amazing mom and dad and big sister

one of those quick updates

1. If you feel you need this, I apologize for the last post, the rambling, whiny nature of it, the endless blahblahblah.
2. If you feel you needed number 1, perhaps you are not really one of my dear readers.
3. I almost entitled this post, "Will blog for sympathy".
4. But I didn't. Because I don't.
5. I am delighted that this month is nearly ended and I will chalk it up to another one of those slippery spots, rough patches, necessary evils, as well as one of those delightful, event-filled, monumentally lovely Junes.